time has supposedly lapsed, cause its already april
elongated days have set, and infinite dawns, broken
yet i continue to palpitate at the reluctant thought of you.

like the wreck you are to my current existence
i have written you off
pulled you apart
and dumped the memory of what could've been your partiality
to me
at the scrapyard
of my mind

alas i still go there
with a pathetic desperation for a girl of my dignity
to admire your once
intact, kinetic self
that regretfully only ever lived
in my mind

for fear that it is true
i convince myself,
while i convince myself otherwise
that you are held back
not because you don't favour me as urgently
as i do you
but because...
who knows?

my denial is so thorough
that even the bare facts offer no testament
this undiagnosed psychosis i bear
is so rampant
that your lack of effort
and empty even if unuttered words
do not deter my body and soul
from climbing out from themselves
to go seeking you
in the parallel world of my dreams
every single night.